For all you, readers of my super neglected blog, I am writing this little post about my arrival to Sydney, kinda of hilarious.Well, let's begin with the journey, that was not one of the best. I flew with korean air that offered me for lunch rice with pickles and the most weird tasty sauce that still today i am wondering where it was made from, called Bimbimbap. (Dunno why but i thought i was eating rice with Bambi in it) I watched so many times Braveheart that now my scottish accent is totally impeccable (FYI Paul Travers)Of course in the middle of night to be woken up by one of the cabin crews spilling a hot tea down on your crotch, burning your penis, is an experience that I could't miss to tell you guys! Cabin crew: "Sorry sir, Turbolence"Me: No problem… It happens (you mother fucking bitch, i need to use this tool for the next 15 days)
These girls are Evil!
Here I am now, in Sydney, Feeling like it s 9 pm craving for some decent food and…..people are having breakfast! On my way to the Hotel, the taxi driver tries to approach asking me if i have girlfriend back in London waiting for me. Even tho I was tempted to say that i have so many girlfriend waiting for me in London such as, Dennis, Guy, Jerome, Modesto e.t.c I did't wanna seem too promiscuous. Finally i arrived in front of the Hotel where this old lady, maybe 75, welcomes me saying she is the owner of the place. She asked me as soon as i stepped in if could swap the light bulb in the sitting room. That was that moment i thought: "here i am, I will be baby sitting this mummy for the rest of the holiday". After some hours of sleeping i decided to go and visit the Opera House. As soon i opened my door I found the cat i pet before downstair on my doorstep, in a kind of sleeping position. It was weird, no life signal, no breath. THE CAT IS DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Of course it seemed to be in one of the episode of CSI , where everybody tried to understand what happened! After that the PET FBI came to take the corps they told her that the cat had a stroke, so all the doubts of me killing the cat fell!
Sunshine outside, so to get some suntan on the beach for the saturday night is a must. The beaches are beautiful and the guys so hot that my mind was enjoying dirty thoughts. Of course A CATCH like me under a palm tree shade cannot be ignored so I got approached by these very good looking guys asking me if i can play volleyball. Well of course i said yes, and told them i am professional back in the UK in the gay team. When they asked me to make a "jump serve", they saw me completely lost! In that moment they realised that the only balls that I make flying are when i get a wank.
After a nice afternoon, socialising (maybe making out with someone), i got in my room ready for a nap. My biological needs urged after i played with all that meat so i was up for a solo in my bed, when the owner came in and opened the door! Well one of the most embarrassing moment of my whole life. ( I think she enjoyed the vision) She apologised saying she would have come back when i was finished my "things". I mean now i do need a proper shrink to erase this trauma off my head!
I' ll keep you posted for eventual traumatizing updates!
XLui
So hilarious, that made me laugh! Well at least you have some interesting stories to tell :)
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