Hello readers! here i am now after a nice quiet saturday night out with my friends writing the post for my blog! So last night, between a beer and Amaretto coke (amazing drink, thanks Dennis) we started to talk about how the love life of a gay person was totally different.
My friend G, french gay man in his "early" forties told me some of his experiences when he was younger, how much stronger was back in the day and how much easier was to find a "partner' to share part of your life with. He highlighted the at that time there was not such a thing like Grindr or other gay cruising websites so everything was genuinely brought together by destiny, chance, and that little bit of luck. This meant that you would meet meet guys in the most common of places such as, the Underground, through friends, supermarkets, e.t.c....
Then he explained that at that time there was not the freedom that we are used now, everything was so secret and hidden, so everything was more tasty!
I got so fascinated listening to him how was romantic at that time and it made me wanted to go back in the times imagining myself in Mustang with a hot american guy listening to ABBA!
He reached the conclusion, after we spoke about it, that today people are scared of commitment and even tho they are interested in the guy they are going out with, they think there is always more and maybe better to get out there….. too much of choice around forgetting about the ROMANCE.
I am aware that today the needs of a gay young man are totally different form the past. Hook ups are a biological need today and sometimes they can turn into great fun but now I am questioning you readers, I am curious and i wanna know what you think about it, listening both sides, all ages men and maybe some girls as well, making comparisons with the straight point of view.
"Hook ups" or "old fashioned Romance"?
X
Lui
Hi Luigi, Nick (Tom's friend) here. Sorry I missed your farewell party.
ReplyDeleteLove the blog. Never read one before.
I think that your friend makes a valid point about the lack of appetite amongst the current generation of gay guys for relationships more familiar to his generation. However I think its not exclusive to young gay guys but anyone who is a product of todays more relaxed attitude to relationships and sex, be they gay, str8, young, old, and everything in-between. They didn't have grindr but it has been noted by others more pious than I that the cottages and cruising grounds of old are a lot quieter since its arrival. Personally I've met one long term relationship in a cottage whilst checking my grindr, so who knows.
Ha Great! I mean not everybody using a cruising app are after something in specific! I do understand that in the past there was for sure similar to cruise and find something occasional! Let's just mention on of the oldest cruising grounds, Hide Park Corner (please do not ask me how I know it!)
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your experience nick!
Hope to see you soon!
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I think the way we see relationships now is more relaxed then ever. I am a romantic but I also value my freedom. The way society has pushed people into living their lives has caused this freedom we are living now. Yes people were more into commitment but it might have been because they had no other choice. Now we can choose the way we live our life ( in most countries ) Each case is different I can only talk bout my case, I am a very honest guy, I had several short term relationships in the past nothing serious till the age of 30, after that I fell in love for the first time. I now know what love is and it's wonderful, unfortunately that did not work out (long story) but it was a wonderful experience and I am looking forward to have that feeling again. What stops me from settling down with someone might be the passion for travelling and exploring the world and how people behave. I know the future will be OK not worrying about that now. There is a time for everything and that includes LOVE.
ReplyDeleteGreat comment Mike! Reading it makes me remember the purpose of this blog! I love listening to other's point of view as I think it makes grow as person so much!
ReplyDeleteThanks
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Being new to the "gay scene" and relationships in general it appears to me (particularly with men) that meaningless sex and frequent flings take precedence over relationships and connections which go deeper than a shallow pool of water. It's unfortunate that guys think this way, and I know that I'm generalizing here but it appears to be the majority.
ReplyDeleteI'm still hoping to find the right guy that is after more than a one night stand and in the meantime try and successfully navigate the gay world without being used and tossed away for the next conquest.